Gary Coleman isn’t gay.

Apparently Gary Coleman was secretly married recently. You probably wouldn’t know it because he doesn’t matter and it was a big secret (but I knew). His wife shows a lot of gum when she smiles and isn’t very attractive. That’s besides the point though.. I couldn’t find a picture right away of him and the wife..although they’re out there. What I did find is much better.. a picture of Gary Coleman with a young Mark Messier with his balls hanging out of a dish towel drinking a beer in the locker room while laughing his ass off because somebody just told him that the little “what you talkin’ about?” kid isn’t a kid at all…he’s 30!